The Guestzilla ~ Part 1: The Omniscient Guest

I've heard a lot of people, mainly in the TV industry, refer to some brides as 'bridezillas.'  There's even an entire show dedicated to it.  I for one, in 9 years,  have never crossed paths with a bridezilla.  I have met many other 'zillas' in my day and will try to blog about them all.  I have decided to start with... "The Guestzilla."  Da da da!  In my experience, it takes one bad guest to cause a scene or dampen your wedding day.  What's the expression?  "One bad apple..."  So true.   I have so many great experiences with guestzillas that I've decided to make this a multi part post.

We'll start with:  "The Omniscient Guest."  This is the guest who knows so much more than anyone else at the wedding, including all of the wedding professionals.  Everything you're about to read has happen to me at one of my weddings.  ;-)

Guests, let me assure you that EVERY detail at a wedding has a purpose and has been thought out.  Some advice, please don't switch seats at dinner when we've gone to the trouble to assign you a seat.  That cute little card with your name on it, please don't put it in your purse until after the meal.  Wonder why your name is in one color and your husband's in another?  It denotes your entrée choice.  If you start moving things around it affects the flow of dinner.  The bride and groom have taken so much time and put a ton of thought in to where you are sitting at their wedding.  It's just for an hour.  Be an adult, and sit where you are told.

No, you cannot move the tables with the 50 pound centerpieces closer together to make one big table.  I had a wedding where to my horror I had guests trying to do just this.  Really?  You can't sit 8 feet away from your friends?  It's just for dinner!

Never try to grab a microphone out of the hand of the DJ or Wedding Planner.  We're not going to hand over the mic to a drunk person.  Or a sober person for that matter.  Let the MC make the announcements.

Don't interrupt the wedding planner during a most busy time and ask for explanations as to why this or that is happening.  What am I supposed to say?  We don't have a coffee station because your friends didn't spring for it, or think it necessary in the 90 degree heat?  She's not dancing with her father because he's estranged and was lucky to have even been invited?  There's no alcohol because the groom is an alcoholic?  Let it be.  Just be happy and have a good time.

Lastly, please don't tell me what you did at your wedding, your friend's wedding or your sister's wedding.  To be blunt, I don't care.  This isn't your wedding and we're doing it the bride's way.  Not to mention, I have one or two weddings under my belt, this isn't my first rodeo.  ;-)

Stay tuned for Part 2 of my Guestzilla series "The Drunk Guest."