Etiquette, Schemtiquette?

Yesterday on facebook I asked if anyone had any etiquette questions for me.  I received a great response.  Here are the answers.

Analese wanted to know: Should you send the wedding gift before or after the wedding?  Or do you bring it with you?  Great question Analese.  Gone are the days of getting married at church and having cake and punch in the courtyard.  With more and more couples having both destination and local destination weddings (weddings within driving distance of the couple's hometown) it just makes sense to send the gift before or after.  Why travel with an expensive gift, only to have the couple lug it back?  Even if you do get married right down the street in your town, it is a lot to load up all of the presents and transport them home.  In my opinion, couples will appreciate the convenience of arriving home to all of their gifts.  All that being said, if you do bring a gift to the wedding, bring it to the reception, not the ceremony.  They will just have to then transport the gifts from the ceremony venue to the reception venue.  And for goodness sake, TAPE THE CARD ON WELL!  You would not believe how many people slip a card under a ribbon knowing that the gifts will have to travel a long distance.  I hope that answers your question Analese!

Nicky wanted to know:  Do you wear your engagement ring when walking down the aisle?  Well, yes and no.  It is absolutely acceptable to wear your engagement ring during the ceremony.  Although the wedding ring is worn 'closest to the heart.'  So you would have to take off your engagement ring to let your husband place your wedding ring on your finger.  A great option is to wear your engagement ring on your right hand and then after the ceremony place it in it's proper place on top of your wedding ring.  A lot of ring sets these days are bonded together, perhaps before the ceremony.  That is what I ended up doing.  I didn't want to deal with having two separate rings that I might lose on the honeymoon, so a week before the wedding I had the two rings bonded together.  I then just didn't wear my engagement ring that last week.  As a wedding planner, my rule is, 'There are no rules!'  This is your wedding and you do whatever you want.  If you want to wear your ring, simply take it off and hand it to your maid of honor, or officiant before the ring ceremony.

And finally, a new bride of mine, Lindsay, pointed out that there are just too many rules when it comes to planning a wedding.  Even down to which mother gets to buy her dress first.  Well Lindsay, why do you think there are wedding planners?  ;-)  There is a ton to know and stay on top of.  Feelings get hurt at weddings ALL the time.  I've had bridesmaids in tears because of their placement in the lineup.  As for which mother gets to shop first, that is an easy one.  Tradition is that the bride's parents pay for the wedding, so of course the mother of the bride would get to choose first what to wear to her party that she is hosting.  (I could also see this 'rule' being set back in the day when there was one store in town.)  ;-)  It reminds me of one of the funniest stories I've heard since I've been in the wedding business.  A woman was getting married, her parents were divorced and her father had remarried.  Coincidentally the bride's mother and step-mother bought the same dress to wear to the wedding.  The bride tried to appeal to the step-mother to change her outfit, but she wouldn't budge.  So what did the mother of the bride do? She wore the dress to the rehearsal dinner!  lol!!!


Emily Post has been and will probably remain the authority on all things etiquette.  She has an entire book written on the subject of wedding etiquette available here.

Thanks for the questions everyone, keep them coming, I'm always here for answers.  Don't want to post your question on facebook?  Email me at:  sarah@sarahangelique.com

Dinner at Embassy Suites, San Luis Obispo

A few days ago on facebook I won dinner for my family from Embassy Suites in San Luis Obispo.  I get totally excited about winning anything, so I was very stoked about dinner for 3!  Embassy Suites is opening up their new restaurant, Greenhouse Grill and Café and were looking for people to try out their new menu.  We got there at 7:50 and the place was packed!  Great first night.  I've always liked the inside of the Embassy Suites Hotel.  There is a large glass roof that allows you to see the night sky.  Guests come and go which is perfect for people watching.  The restaurant's placement has not changed, but the menu has had a full facelift.  Our server, Greer - who was a cutie, welcomed us and explained that this was a trial run for the restaurant.  Well you would never know it.  Everything ran like a well oiled machine.

I started my meal with the Baby Spinach Salad, with caramelized onions, imported bleu cheese, oven dried prosciutto, hard boiled egg and lemon vinaigrette.  Yum!  

(please forgive the poor quality of my photos.  They were taken with my iPhone under the romantic lighting of the restaurant)

I may have ordered everything based on cheese.  You know me.     ;-)  My entrée was blue cheese crusted filet mignon with port wine demi glace.  Garlic roasted asparagus and mashed potatoes. 

Yes, I still had room for dessert.  I couldn't pass up chocolate bundt cake with raspberry sauce and whipped cream.

Everything was very good!  Jason and Gabriel loved their meals and a good time was had by all.  

Thanks to Embassy Suites for a great evening!  Can't wait to come back.

It's The Little Things

As a wedding planner, you never know what request will come your way or what you may need to do last minute.  At a recent wedding the bride said to me, "I need to borrow something."  "What?" I asked.  "No, I need something 'borrowed.'"  Ah!  Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.  I happened to be wearing a very dear necklace to me that day.  It has my son's name, birthday and birthstone on it.  So I took it off and I attached it to her bouquet.  I love my job and love being a part of such a special day.  Photo by Lindsey Hahn Photography.  Bride's bouquet by panacea, event floral design.

It's All About The Groom

I've noticed a trend in the past few years.  The days of men saying:  "just tell me where and when to show up" are gone. There are a few reasons this seems to happens.  Lately I've had more and more brides in demanding, fast paced careers.  Their grooms seem to have more time than they do, and so become my partner in crime during the planning process.  They take on favor decisions, color schemes, cake choices, everything.  Then there is the groom who is just totally into it.  He wants to be involved in every detail.  I had a groom insist that we email every day for the year before his wedding.  Honestly, even I don't have that much to say.  ;-) And then there is the groom that makes all the other grooms look bad.  This wonderful man had been married to his bride for 10 years and wanted to surprise her for their 10th anniversary.  He arranged for their closest friends and family to join them for an intimate vow renewal.  (Blog on that event coming soon.)  Which are you?  The go with the flow groom?  The overly involved groom?  The totally romantic groom?  I, for one, am all for men becoming more involved with the planning process.  Come on ladies, it's their day too.

Caroline & Curt ~ Vineyard Wedding ~ Paso Robles, CA

This was one of my favorite weddings of 2009.

I not only coordinated the wedding, but arranged all of the flowers.

The bride's bouquet was adorned with her grandmother's brooch.

I love adding little touches anywhere I can at a wedding.

These are nosegays for the mothers.  I had the bride make necklaces with baby photos of herself and the groom.  The moms loved this gift. As all the flowers are lavender, they will dry nicely and be lifelong keepsakes.

There was quite a bit of detail in the 'tablescape.'  My favorite part was the mini grape vines.  I found them locally of course.  The perfect touch for a wedding at a winery in Paso Robles.

The bride and groom were married under the trees with the sweet smell of lavender in the air and their closest friends and family surrounding them.  Literally.  As soon as the bride took her place next to her groom all of the guests moved in around them like a hug.  It was very intimate.

Amazing photos like these can only be taken in beautiful Paso Robles.  The bride and groom took full advantage of the vineyards and spent some time taking photos among the vines.

Dorian Michael serenaded guests with his amazing guitar stylings. Want him to play at your wedding?  Give me a call, he only works for me.  ;-)

A wonderful evening under the trees at Carmody McKnight Winery. With about 50 guests, it was the perfect number to have a large continuous table.

The mother of the bride made the fun, crafty 'Just Married' banner.  It was so cute I had to hang it from the head table.  Later I made sure it made it into their car for the honeymoon.

Thank you Jon Nickson for these amazing images.  It was a pleasure working with you. And thank you Caroline & Curt for being wonderful clients to work for, love you guys!!

Wedding & Reception Venue:  Carmody McKnight Winery

Photographer:  Jon Nickson

Florist:  Sarah Angelique

Caterer:  Miss Oddette

Music:  Dorian Michael

Out of Control

I love writing about the wonderful things that happen at weddings. But today I thought I'd share some of the, let's say, less than fortunate things that have happened at my weddings over the past 9 years. You really do have to remember that you can't control everything and always be ready for the unexpected.

Sickness Happens
At a wedding rehearsal we were waiting and waiting for the Bride and Maid of Honor to arrive. We finally get a call letting us know that the Bride is in the hospital with food poisoning and the Maid of Honor is with her. They never made it to the rehearsal, and she recovered like a champ in time for the wedding the next day.

Then there was the Mother of the Bride who woke up the morning of the wedding with an eye infection so bad her eyes were almost completely shut. She raced off to the E.R. while I held down the fort. Just one of the many reasons you need a wedding planner. ;-)

Stupidity Happens
Against the Bride's wishes, the Groom and Groomsmen went four wheeling the day before the wedding. You can see where this is going. The women and myself are at the venue waiting for the guys to arrive for the rehearsal. And we get the call that there had been an accident. One of the groomsmen flipped his 4 x 4 and had fractured his leg. He made it to the wedding and even participated, cast and all. The Bride was pissed!

Doors Stick
Yes, believe it or not, I had a wedding at a hotel where the bridal suite's door became stuck right before the ceremony, with of course the bride and bridesmaids inside. Maintenance men with axes, seriously, had to get her out. The Mother of the Bride was almost crying outside the door. The wedding started just a bit late, and looking back, how funny. An ax!

Extra Guests Show Up
I had a wedding at a hotel where the banquet manager came up to me the morning of the wedding and said: "The Bride's mother just informed me that she invited 6 more people last night." This was a plated dinner. You can't just add another entire table. Not to mention pulling a centerpiece and linen out of thin air. The hotel ended up serving over a dozen more dinners than were ordered. That is unheard of. Of course, we pulled it off.

Brides and Grooms Fight
It's a stressful day. Some advice guys, don't go for the 'cake in the face' unless your woman starts it. A Groom who shoved his cake in his Bride's face got an earful in the bathroom afterwards. Myself and her Bridesmaids were trying to calm her down and fix her hair and makeup. Way to start off the marriage lame-o.

Car Accidents Happen
I had a wedding where the cake was late. I didn't think much of it, we had plenty of time for them to get there. Then I get a phone call that the bakers had been in a car accident en route to the venue, destroying the cake. They were amazing though, raced back to the shop, somehow, and got another cake to us by the time the reception started.

Wedding Crashers!!
Yes, I've had to kick out wedding crashers. I asked them who they were with, the bride or groom. Knowing full well they were crashers. They had the nerve to tell me that they were just checking things out... at our full bar.   I told them I was going to ask them to leave and escorted them to the door.

Well I hope you enjoyed reading about some of the unexpected, out of control things that have happened to me over the years.

Movie Trailer from Katie and Derek's Wedding

You have to check out the Wedding Trailer from my most recent wedding!  Josh Morris with Rain Studios did an amazing job.  I can't wait to see the video in it's entirety.  This is just a three minute teaser, but I'm telling you, it will give you goose bumps!  

Well were do I start with the wedding Saturday?  First of all, it was such a fabulous, beautiful wedding!  Katie and Derek are so in love and it shows every moment.  I teared up quite a few times.  They were just so cute together.  Thank goodness the weather held.  It didn't rain until literally the end of the night at 10:00.  That was the only stress the week prior to the wedding.  Really everything was running smoothly all evening until... the bride's mother points out a group of  four people at the bar and says:  "Who are those people?  I don't know those people?"  They didn't look familiar to me either, so I walked over to them and asked: "Are you friends of the bride's or the groom's?"  They replied that they were just looking around.  Looking around at our open bar!  I in turn said:  "I'm going to ask you to leave."  And escorted them out of the room!  That's right NO ONE ruins one of my weddings!  Can you believe it?  Wedding crashers!  The nerve of people.  Other than that the evening was perfection.  Wonderful food, great music, amazing decor, and most importantly a beautiful, happy couple.

Wedding Slideshow

Countdown To My First Wedding Of The Year

It's almost time for my first wedding of 2009!  I am very excited about this wedding.  The bride, Katie, and I were meant to find each other.  It turns out that we went to the same high school (at different times) and she went to the same school my mom worked at.  Very small world.  So we found each other here on the Central Coast.  This has been a whirl wind of planning.  Katie and her mom Lynn hired me in November.  We only had 4 months to plan this wedding, and that's with the holidays in the middle of it all!  But it is coming off without a hitch, excepting the hitching of the couple.  :-)  Stay tuned to see how it turns out.